Everyday kids are on their own at school. From the time they get on the school bus in the morning until they are delivered home in the afternoon. I have often wondered how many decisions they had to make on their own. The kids have to decide what friends they are going to play with during recess; what to eat in the cafeteria since mom doesn't sit the food in front of them; how much attention they pay to their teacher(s); if they obey the school rules, etc. Our new "branded" generation the "Tweens" (ages 8-12) are making decisions about the "click" of friends they are going to hang around and many other decisions.
It is the responsibility of the parents to discover what decisions their kids are making at school. Don't completely trust your kid at this age. You can trust they are doing the best they know how; but, they still have a lot to learn about making their own decisions.
Make a parent-teacher appointment and ask their teacher for their observations relating to your kid making decisions at school. Don't let the teacher ramble on relating to other behaviors (unless you want them to) stay on your agenda item for this meeting which is what decisions does my kid have to make at school during the day. You'r kid will hate you for doing this. I remember Caroll O'Conner who played Archie Bucker for years said to the media and to parents when he lost his grown-up son to drugs: "Get in the face of your kids and protect them no matter what you have to do".
At this age you may ask can a parent make a change in the decisions their kids are making without them? You won't like the answer to this question--the answer is "maybe yes" and "maybe no". It all depends on the communication you have built with your kid the first ten years of their lives. Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness, parents need to seek professional help in this area if you are concerned about the decisions your kids are making on their own.
